I have had this crazy craving for baked goods lately. If I were to post all the cookies, breads, and other sweet treats I've made lately, I'd have to call this a baking blog, seriously. Combined with my crazy craving for and indulgence in fruit, my liberal use of sweeteners like honey and maple syrup and palm sugar that I know I shouldn't be eating, my wild desire for chocolate, my urges to binge eat (and the inevitable followthrough), and my recently recurring joint pain, burning feet, headaches, and a crazy bought of wicked congestion, I am feeling a little concerned. I can't deny it anymore. Once again, I'm having a Candida flare up again or my Lyme is acting up, and I think I am overindulging in some of the foods that I had been previously avoiding due to allergies or intolerances.
Damn it! It is hard to keep clean of Candida when taking so many gosh darn antibiotics for Lyme treatment, and it is so easy to go overboard with those foods you reintroduce after years... Argh.
In addition to being frustrated about those symptoms, I feel fat. I know I'm not, and I know I look healthier now than I have in years. But my lifelong struggle with weight and body image is playing massive tricks on me. I want to feel more comfortable and confident in my skin again.
So, I am posting this muffin recipe as sort of a bon voyage to baked goods for a while. I told myself that once I ate half the batch, I had to put the other half in the freezer, and that I have done. And now, I need to go on a break from sugar, fruit, and most grains again. I know these things throw off my blood sugar, increase my cravings, and slow my metabolism. I need to focus on protein and vegetables; I feel best eating that way, and I need to get back on track. This is going to be hard, but I know I have the willpower, somewhere...I am hoping I didn't forget it in the pocket of those smaller jeans I had to divorce last year....